Friday, December 26, 2014

WSOP 2014: Requiem for the adult onesie



You've met the man before. He's the person who has just gone bust on the table. He looks forlorn, lonely, and lost. Everyone looks at him expectantly, but nobody can summon the courage to say, "Sir, it is time to go."

Today, the WSOP Main Event field will lose greater than 200 players. Most of them can have the wherewithal to face and leave. If not, a member of the workers can help them up and guide them compassionately around the floor to the payout cage.

There is not any such person to assist the vendors within the Rio Convention Center hallway, a spot where that sort of compassion could also be needed a lot more.

See, vendors come from in every single place to tap the poker market during its biggest annual convention. The walk to the Amazon Room takes players past sunglasses, tax services, ion bracelets, Bluetooth headphones, phone cases, books, and absolutely anything else a poker player may want.

The experienced salesman within the vendor community knows something: there's nearly no reason to order and pay for space within the Rio after Day 2 of the WSOP. After that day, the crowds die down, the hallways get quiet, and the danger of walk-up-traffic having its interest piqued by an adult-sized onesie gets pretty small.

zoop it up.JPG

Can I interest anyone in pajamas? Anyone?

Don't take my word for it. Go get yourself a burrito within the WSOP Poker Kitchen and...oh, you can't, since the Poker Kitchen closed last night. So did the snacks kiosk near the exits. The WSOP knows there are just such a lot of mouths to feed, and there won't be enough to justify the price of employing men to make tacos.

Still, there are rookie vendors who remain. There's a young man wearing a green onesie looking down the hallway at the off-chance someone will walk in off the road and wish head-to-toe warmth and coziness in this 101° day. There's another guy who holds up a phone case and says softly, "Case on your phone?" when an individual walks by holding a phone in a case. After weeks of constructing passers-by attempt to balance on one foot with an ion bracelet and without, the bracelet sales people have just given up and do not say anything. The fantasy poker guy literally has his eyes closed and his head in his hands. It's over.

But, still they continue to be. One could only assume they rented their space long just before the WSOP and now--like a father forcing his kids to enjoy another day on vacation on the Museum of Lost Causes--the vendors feel compelled to ride it out to the bitter end.

Bear in mind, none of those vendors are have the type of title sponsorship access that the large companies do. You will not see an American flag onesie hanging above the featured table area alongside Ruffles and Natural Light. The dealers at the TV table won't be wearing ion bracelets, and you'll be damned sure they are not going to be standing on one foot while somebody tries to tip them over.

Main Event Bracelet Feature Table Event 65 Day 5 2014 WSOP Giron 7JG4745.JPG

The WSOP feature table (Photo: Joe Giron/Poker Photo Archive)

No, these vendors have a hallway, and it's almost all they've.

Someone with a heart must approach these lonely people, offer a warm hand, and say, "Sir. Yes, you within the onesie. It is time to go."

Brad Willis is the PokerStars Head of Blogging


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